he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
