I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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