he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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