super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
