if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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