shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
