I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
