i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sorry about my life...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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