are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
