i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The power of my boobs compel you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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