he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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