The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We had to coat check the pizza.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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