Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
