Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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