The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
