R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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