I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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