the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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