At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
