Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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