I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
