From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
