are you still at the devil's house?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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