It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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