yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
