can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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