her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
