I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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