I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
