There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
