Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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