it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
