bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
