What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
