i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
