If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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