I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just had sex on a roof
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
