He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
