Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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