Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
