we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
