I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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