WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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