yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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