if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We named our party play list daddy issues
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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