He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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