So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
