im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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