You're so nebulous sometimes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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