I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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